


you can train a pigeon to deliver messages but you can't make it do anything else other than that

by sunyshorecity



Series: witch school (which is for witches) [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Carrier Pigeons, Other, Pigeons, im tagging ot3racha tho bc it's basically implied, kinda jisung-centric, lapslock, ot3racha if u squint, this is purely just changbin shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-14 00:51:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15377118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunyshorecity/pseuds/sunyshorecity
Summary: “hey, changbin,” chan starts warily. “whatcha doin here? are you still trying to train that bird?” chan looks back down at jisung and mouths a “what the fuck?” before looking back at changbin.“he’s eating turkey.” changbin says monotonously, not bothering to look back at the other two witches in his room.“that’s cannibalism isn’t it?” jisung chimes in.“it definitely is.” changbin responds. “but pigeons lack morals, and this one is no exception.”





	you can train a pigeon to deliver messages but you can't make it do anything else other than that

**Author's Note:**

> this all started with the idea of changbin being a god at potions. thank u kyr for fueling me with booksmart dumbass changbin
> 
> loosely based off the idiom "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink"

jisung walks by to see chan just standing in the doorframe of changbin’s room. he approaches from behind him and peers over his shoulder to look at changbin, then turns to chan, meeting his wide eyes, and then turns back to the scene in changbin’s bedroom to fully assess what was going on. a pigeon (and a rather large one jisung thought) was standing on the hardwood floor amongst clutter and scattered belongings of changbin’s next to what looked to be a delightful sandwich. the bird was pecking and tearing at the bread wildly—well, as wild as pigeons could get. pigeons aren’t _that_ domesticated are they? frankly, jisung thinks they’re just stupid fucking birds—trying to eat what was presumed to be changbin’s lunch. changbin, who looked devoid of all emotion, sat opposite of the pigeon at his desk, head resting on his arm, silently watching the murder of his afternoon meal.

should he say something? jisung feels like he should say something. however, he feels that if he did, it would ruin whatever is going on. plus, he truly cannot fucking _fathom_ how changbin even got into this situation. he knew he kept this stupid bird to spite minho, but this definitely shouldn’t have lasted this long; it’s been how many days now? jisung doesn’t even bother trying to count (he doesn’t care enough to, however he makes a mental note that it’s definitely been over a week).

maybe chan will know what to say. he’s typically the best at this, defusing the scenario and knowing how to respond. jisung rests his chin on chan’s shoulder and stares at him, hoping the older would get the hint. chan glances down and sighs, rolling his eyes before speaking.

“hey, changbin,” chan starts warily. “whatcha doin here? are you still trying to train that bird?” chan looks back down at jisung and mouths a “what the fuck?” before looking back at changbin.

“he’s eating turkey.” changbin says monotonously, not bothering to look back at the other two witches in his room.

“that’s cannibalism isn’t it?” jisung chimes in.

“it definitely is.” changbin responds. “but pigeons lack morals, and this one is no exception.” 

“...right. anyways,” chan says, putting the conversation at a halt before jisung spirals down the bullshit pigeon hole along with changbin. “why does the pigeon have your sandwich, changbin?”

changbin shrugs, now sitting upright in his chair, turning to face them. “he wanted it.”

“he wanted your sandwich.”

“yeah.”

“and you gave it to him?”

“he took it by force. i’m a victim here.”

“how did he…” chan audibly groans and jisung holds back a laugh, wrapping his arms around chan’s torso so he can remain resting on his shoulder. “the sandwich is the same size as him! how the hell can he carry it?”

“pigeons are full of secrets, chris.” changbin turns to look down at the moronic bird, still pecking feverishly at the turkey sandwich (one of the best kind of sandwiches jisung thinks, this bird has good taste), and sighs. “and i guess i will never be able to discover them.”

“fuck’s sake changbin. you’re a witch. who gives a damn about pigeons.”

“this is all minho’s fault!” changbin whines, frustration finally entering his once lifeless voice, turning back to chan and jisung. finally, they were getting somewhere. “he came to me asking for help in potions, and i told of him of course! i mean, i _am_ sir-mix-a-lot.”

“i don’t think the original mix-a-lot himself would appreciate you taking his stage name like that. he probably owns the rights to it.” jisung adds.

“ _anyways_ ,” chan says again, lightly swatting at jisung’s head. “how did minho asking for help lead to all this?” he asks, gesturing to the chaos that was changbin’s room.

“i told him i’d help him, but only if he called me. naturally, he questioned why he has to do that. i responded that i’m sir-mix-a-lot and everyone has to do something of my bidding before receiving help. also, i like my ringtone.”

jisung had no idea where the hell this was going.

“so, minho said ‘whatever’ and took out his phone to call me, and when he did, my ringtone played out loud on full volume. i don’t think he liked it too much. next day, this demon bird flies into my room onto my desk and drops a note from his dumb beak. on the paper it said ‘fuck you. love, minho.’ it was definitely a threat. so, naturally, i’ve been trying to train this bird to get back at him. oh, there was also a ps at the bottom.” changbin adds. “apparently i own hyunjin ten dollars? i swear i paid him back though. strange.”

“...you’re telling us that your shitty ringtone caused all of this mayhem?” chan asks. 

changbin nods gravely. “yes i am.”

“what’s your ringtone?” jisung asks. his curiosity was piqued. knowing changbin it was either something really gross and immature (which he hoped it really wasn’t because _ew_ , we’re all teens here but still) or something along the lines of a shitty joke or pun.

“call me.” changbin replies.

chan sighs and begrudgingly takes his phone out of his pocket and dials changbin’s number, left hand rested over both of jisung’s, right hand holding the phone face up away from his face. from the desk, changbin’s phone lights up, and the room is now filled with the first verse of baby got back by sir-mix-a-lot himself (the original, definitely not changbin). jisung erupts into laughter as soon as the song plays, burying his face into chan’s shoulder. chan lets out yet another sigh and ends the call before the song continued further. “sir-mix-a-lot.” he deadpans, slipping his phone back into his pocket.

“it’s funny right?” changbin asks with a smirk.

“not funny enough for minho, obviously.”

changbin frowns. “minho’s an asshole and thinks troll face memes are funny in 2018. this,” changbin gestures behind him to his phone on the desk, “is comedy gold.” he turns to look back at the pigeon, who is still most definitely eating his sandwich, and sighs.

jisung stifles his laughter and clears his throat. changbin never fails to amaze him. “well, you’re missing a sandwich and i’m extremely hungry. let’s go get lunch!”

“fine,” chan says. we’ll deal with this bird nonsense later.” he points at changbin who starts to rise from his chair. “you’re paying though.”

“that’s fair.” changbin gives in, not bothering to start another discussion. jisung would probably whine if they did.

“is it okay to just leave the bird like that though?” jisung asks.

“it doesn’t even matter if i’m around or not. stupid fucking bird follows his own agenda.” changbin glowers back at the pigeon, as if it would even care to glance back at up at him.

“well in that case, let’s go then!” jisung unlatches from chan and heads towards the front door, and chan takes hold of changbin’s hand before they follow him.

 

 

 

(when they come back, there’s shit everywhere. literal shit. maybe leaving the pigeon alone was a bad call on their part.)

**Author's Note:**

> come talk 2 me on [ twitter ](https://twitter.com/0320twt) \+ [ tumblr ](https://hearthrobs.tumblr.com)!


End file.
